..Glistening Dust..

The eyes bled waiting for you to come back,
The heart sang songs of it's misery past,
You walked your one way street without looking back
Your stubbornness in metal, cast..

You weren't there to help me cope,
As hope and care seeped through my soul,
Only the wind heard my desperate pleas
And the rain saw the gnawing and empty hole,

I slowly patched myself up;
Promising never again to give you a damn,
And you suddenly wanted you way back in,
You cold, obstinate and irrational man...

You smiled like you had never been broken,
You touched like nothing had changed,
You sought out lost promises made by me;
Yet you stayed aloof and acted strange..

People come and then people go,
Starry dreams they all show,
You killed my happiness and took all my joy,
And life, went on, she still flows...

Hiatus.. A long walk down the beach...

So, it has been a while since I last wrote..

Naah, that is an understatement! It has been eons and eons since I last wrote.. Most of you will be shocked to see Banter back up on your feeds.. Hehe.. I can't really blame you guys..

I hit a difficult patch in between.. It took me some time to get out of it.. But there is a very kind someone looking after me.. I did get out! And how!! 2009 has been one hell of a year in terms of me growing up.. People who have stayed will notice the difference.. :)

A positive change.. I'm in a pensive, reflective mood. It is not a bad thing. It is an excellent thing. So amongst the changes, I grew up. Big Time. My optimism hardened to reality. I have become more responsible. And that is saying something. My English has become worse and more miserable than ever. I'm working on it. I'm also working. The working class professional. I'm learning each day. Handling people is a very very difficult and stressful job. But one has to do it at some point of time. Get the hands dirty. Dig right in. Guess who came out with the dirtiest hands! :D

I have found happiness in myself. I have also found happiness in others. My family and my friends mean the world to me. Even though the latter bunch keeps changing. Constant reflection of myself..

This post is weird.. But it is at my raw best.. It will be a while before the flair and panache will return.. I'm working on the details!

Happy New Year everyone! :)

Wishes.

I wish the sun would speak to me again,
I wish my words would just flow,
I wish my day would be simply amazing
I wish I could regain some of that control;

I wish I could just leave all this behind
I wish I could simply pack up and go
I wish that the clouds take me away
Then it would just be me, joy and some more!

Walking on...

People touch my life everyday. Some stay in there. Some go. So, this is a vague but accurate description of important people in my life who have chosen to walk on..

Specimen 1:
Charming, caring, sweet, humble, dedicated, committed, an awesome listener, patient, chivalrous, honest, gallant, courteous and down to earth.

Reason for exit:
Refused to move from ally to beloved.

Specimen 2:
Confident, sure, understanding, foodie, cunning, insightful, very perceptive, sagacious, my encourager, popular, intelligent, bitching partner, committed and loving.

Reason for exit:
The twinkle faded.

Specimen 3:
Chud-bud, funny, animal and nature lover, creative, secret-holder, birthday forgetting, sweet, nice, amusing, Nadal fan, sunset passionate, cute and one of my closest friends.

Reason for exit:
Random but major issues.

Specimen 4:
Funny, loving, understanding, friendly, very pretty, parental rule opposer, one of the few friends from jn. college, flexible, sweet, panipuri addict and smart.

Reason for exit:
Distance and lies.

Specimen 5:
Cute, sweet, amusing, geeky, charming, yapper, gadget freak, Star Trek fanatic, sci-fi lover, chocolate lover, hug giver and funny.

Reason for exit:
Specimen never grew up.

So, yes; I have done my part. I am sorry to have let go.. You meant a lot to me back then and you still mean a lot to me right now.. But the days ahead will bring more hope and more sunshine. You crazy diamonds; shine on. I miss you. <3

For Nimit.

This post has been so long overdue.

You are the solid rock in my life. The never changing persona. The ever smiling, forever understanding guy. The constant companion. The walk buddy. The junk food addict. The best friend. The only friend. The true friend. The charmer. The dreamer. The believer.

You have always believed in me. Believed in me when I was too broken to believe in myself.

You have always had faith in me. When I gave up hope and faith in my life, you taught me to keep the faith.

You have been the non questioning, super understanding and space giving guy to a girl whose life; would give a roller coaster a run for it's money!

You have; most importantly, forever been there.

Thank you Nimit. I love you more than I would admit and I would turn the world over, twice; before I let you go.

Mwah. <3

I wouldn't ask you to not change, because a gem, a marvel and a luminary like you; would only get better with time.

For him, who mattered.

The tears fell thick and fast..
My best friend walked away..
The tears splashed by once again..
He never looked back this way..
I prayed to the sun and to the sky,
To take my pain away..
The eons of pain and distress were too much to swallow
They were too much to stay..
The bright horizon dulled a little,
The stars lost their shine,
If only I knew what I did wrong,
My amends would make you mine..
With every rattled breath i take,
And every choking sob;
I pray to Lord to keep you happy,
I pray that he keeps you warm..
You gave me too many dreams,
And you mattered too much to me,
But every disagreement we had;
Showed how less understanding I could be..
Your infinite patience used,
Your happy smile long gone,
If only I knew how I wronged you,
If only I knew at all..
It hurts me to see you with her,
It hurts me so bloody much;
Sometimes I wish I had never learnt at all,
Or bothered to feel your touch..
Your gentle pat on my head,
And your grin at my silly jokes,
Your patience to hear my jabber out,
Your forbearance with all my pokes..
I tickled you all the time,
And I also tugged at your hair,
I tried so hard to piss you off
But your patience was always there..
Then one day I stopped my talk,
And I didn't tell you at all;
The reason behind my silence
Which ultimately led to my fall;
I needed to find something out that day,
I had to find my peace,
My silence cost me so much to date,
That all I can do is grieve..
I hope you are really happy today
And that your happiness lasts,
I know how much she means to you..
And I know you are in love..

Keep smiling always, Arvind. Miss you.

Change

Pain and grief tore through her
The lucky man had it all
The injustice of the situation,
The cruelty in this fall

Bitter bile rose through the hurt, and;
Distraught, she swayed
The bitter beauty of this jazz, is that;
He just threw it all away.

The Day.

I haven't laughed so much in ages.
I haven't grinned ear to ear since forever.
I haven't been this happy since Joel's surprise visit.
I didn't realise how much I needed this!
But I did.
It was an awesome day and the effects are still there.
I'm still on a happy high.
The banter.
The teasing.
The bitching.
The expletives.
The new piercing.
The new friend.
The old friend.
The boyfriend.
MWAH.

It was the best Valentine's ever!
The guys were beaten in their own avenue.
The girls prevailed.
Tickling is still the best form of submission.
Laughing is THE best medicine.
People are the best therapy.
Inorbit gaming zone is the best!!!!

Mush and gift exchanging, a perfect Valentine's day don't make.
Hammer hitting, hippo beating, bull dog attacking, air hockey playing, light stepping and awesome people.
This all maketh a perfect Valentine's day.

I couldn't have asked for something better!!!

PS: The people involved were:
Kavya: The gem. The marvel.
Mihir: The luminary. The star.
Ravi: The new one. The best.

I owe all three of you a big thank you. You guys gave me one of the most memorable days I have had in a long time.