24 May 2006


I am miserable, I am upset;
An unsettling silence is borne inside my head
My thoughts are muddled, they are confused
Happiness is something that I want used
More than that, I want my peace of mind back
I want my peace, my solace;
I wish I could find what I needed
I wish I wasn't looked down upon
I don't want to be judged;
I just want you to let me be
I have done nothing to you
Then why do we have this animosity?

I am trying to calm myself down,
To find a peace of being
I want to be heard not judged;
I want to speak not be misunderstood
It is okay if you don't understand me
But don't try to put in false sympathy
Because that will pinch more.
It will bug, pinch and prove uncomfortable
It is fine, I will hold my silence
But don't try to convince me that I am wrong
Sometimes I just want to be heard
So that I can share my pain, my sorrow
I just want to let it all out
The frustration is killing me anyways
It would be fun if life was uncomplicated
Simple, sweet and justified
The pain and the pinch are bad-
Miserable and uncalled for-

I want to find the real me back;
I want to shout with happiness
And scream with laughter-
I am shouting in my agony
And screaming in my pain
I need to be held, to be hugged-
I need to be loved,
But most of all-
I need to be understood
I need just one person to extend a hand of concern
Instead I get a million hands of sympathy and pity
I don't need that-
I just need a little love
I need quite some time

If I could I would
But you dont forget someone you love
It isn't easy
The pain refuses to go away
The scattered wounds refuse to heal
Instead it is being cut open daily
Because all the thoughts and memories
That I have of you
Are still there in my head-
I still like you-
I miss you dearly
But looks like you don't;
You, must have gotten over me
Maybe you haven't-
But you mask your emotions so well
And I can't;
They get the better of me quite sometimes
And then people again begin to judge me-
They think I am moody-
I'm misunderstood-
I'm just me-
But I'm also hurt; I'm in pain
And I want to just be me.

But your thoughts don't go away, do they?
They just wait for a vulnerable moment
And then they come back
Bittersweet and unsettling
Every memory, every thought;
Every passing moment
It overwhelms me;
My thoughts go haywire again.
I'm different, I'm complex
And it bugs me differently
I'm frustrated-
In my times of need;
I can't find what I want-

I want that concerned face, that loving heart
That genuine touch-
All I get is-
judgmental people,
Politically incorrect tortures
And some "extra selfish" people
Waiting to take advantage of my vulnerability-
What do I do?
This is not what I wanted
Oh! Please someone; anyone
Please come and help me
Because you may just pull me through
The pile of quicksand
Where the more I struggle to escape
The deeper I sink in.

13 May 2006

Wrote this poem sometime back...............

Happiness is a god forsaken word,
A word I have come to detest
In the world that I live
It gives no peace and no rest
I walk this imaginary line
And smile upon my false fate
Underlying thorns pierce my world
Underlying visions; my state
I happen to be losing myself
Into a cold, dark and musty lair
I just lie in vain, in sorrow
I quietly bear my despair
What is going wrong about me?
Every word is a slice
What have I done to you?What invites this malice?
I sit and just ponder
My thoughts are way too confused
I am trying to understand
But the more I try,the more I diffuse.
My family have their own way,
My friends have turned me to shame
My heart is cold and lonely
My thoughts are going in vain
I am sick of it all,
I just want to break free
Break up all these binding chains
And maybe then I'll find Thee
In the meantime just what do I do?
Where do I go and what do I see?
My mind is a speck of dust
Hell Lord, I need to be free.
I was in need of an easy way
I just wanted to be out
I will try my best
I henceforth will keep my mouth shut.
I am in pain and in sorrow
And words aren't truly enough,
I am levying on my best behavior
And maybe I'll win clear cut.
All I know is that
The pain has a meaning
It gives me hope to think
That I'll find a new beginning.
Finally I'll settle down
Calm my heart and vanish my frown,
I'll seek calmness and serenity
I'll find solace, I'll find eternity.
When nirvana shall belong to me
I will find a place to be
And in that place
Happiness will find itself a place to be.

7 May 2006




Symbol: WO+Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.

Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas.

1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stonesand absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
3. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

1. Highly ornamental, good samples can increase your social value.
2. Can be great aid to administration.

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

Illegal to possess more than one