POEM............



I am miserable, I am upset;
An unsettling silence is borne inside my head
My thoughts are muddled, they are confused
Happiness is something that I want used
More than that, I want my peace of mind back
I want my peace, my solace;
I wish I could find what I needed
I wish I wasn't looked down upon
I don't want to be judged;
I just want you to let me be
I have done nothing to you
Then why do we have this animosity?


I am trying to calm myself down,
To find a peace of being
I want to be heard not judged;
I want to speak not be misunderstood
It is okay if you don't understand me
But don't try to put in false sympathy
Because that will pinch more.
It will bug, pinch and prove uncomfortable
It is fine, I will hold my silence
But don't try to convince me that I am wrong
Sometimes I just want to be heard
So that I can share my pain, my sorrow
I just want to let it all out
The frustration is killing me anyways
It would be fun if life was uncomplicated
Simple, sweet and justified
The pain and the pinch are bad-
Miserable and uncalled for-

I want to find the real me back;
I want to shout with happiness
And scream with laughter-
Instead;
I am shouting in my agony
And screaming in my pain
I need to be held, to be hugged-
I need to be loved,
But most of all-
I need to be understood
I need just one person to extend a hand of concern
Instead I get a million hands of sympathy and pity
I don't need that-
I just need a little love
I need quite some time

If I could I would
But you dont forget someone you love
It isn't easy
The pain refuses to go away
The scattered wounds refuse to heal
Instead it is being cut open daily
Because all the thoughts and memories
That I have of you
Are still there in my head-
I still like you-
I miss you dearly
But looks like you don't;
You, must have gotten over me
Maybe you haven't-
But you mask your emotions so well
And I can't;
They get the better of me quite sometimes
And then people again begin to judge me-
They think I am moody-
I'm misunderstood-
I'm just me-
But I'm also hurt; I'm in pain
And I want to just be me.

But your thoughts don't go away, do they?
They just wait for a vulnerable moment
And then they come back
Bittersweet and unsettling
Every memory, every thought;
Every passing moment
It overwhelms me;
My thoughts go haywire again.
I'm different, I'm complex
And it bugs me differently
I'm frustrated-
In my times of need;
I can't find what I want-

I want that concerned face, that loving heart
That genuine touch-
Instead;
All I get is-
judgmental people,
Politically incorrect tortures
And some "extra selfish" people
Waiting to take advantage of my vulnerability-
What do I do?
This is not what I wanted
Oh! Please someone; anyone
Please come and help me
Because you may just pull me through
The pile of quicksand
Where the more I struggle to escape
The deeper I sink in.