14 Dec 2008

You

It is one hell of a day when you realise that, all that you have been doing is wrong. That it hasn't been fair. That justice wasn't meted out. That it broke someone along the way. That the tears were unstoppable.

You did wrong. You weren't fair. You didn't do justice. You broke someone along the way. You made someone cry.

Then you realise in all glory; that the person you are staring at is your own reflection. You are looking at a mirror. A mirror that is as cracked and faded, as you feel. As tormented as the shadows of the dark. As ghastly as you feel ashamed of your unfairness. As lonely and tormented as your soul. As insane as the world that it reflects.

And yet, you know that it is you. And there is still so much more there. A promise of a better tomorrow. A sliver of a new dawn. A faint silver lining.

You promise yourself to make it better. You promise to stand up for yourself. You want to prove something to yourself. You don't let anyone else rule you. They don't hold a say in your life. They don't have that much importance. They don't matter at all.

The gory death of you. That was what had; almost, happened. And somehow you lived to see another day. The carnage was terrible, the stench of blood overpowering. The darkness ripped your soul.

And yet you live.

No, they didn't miss you. No, they didn't fall. No, they don't realise that you are still very much there.

Still alive.

Living for yourself. For a change. A good change.

PS: My sun still shines. :)

26 Nov 2008

The Temptress




You want a piece of me
Maybe you want the whole being
You want to be thrilled
You want the feel
You want the insanely heady rush
The smoothness
The grating smoothness
The unimaginable softness
You want the immediate high
You want the throes of elation
The endless boundaries of desire
The polished beauty
The finespun features
The prevailing finesse
You want the ceaseless pain
The tortured anguish
The endless hope
The perpetual faith
The consummate soul
You want the enamoring spirit
You want it all...

You can't have me
You can't tame the spirit
You can't apprehend the soul
You can't crush the faith
You can't torment the hope
You can't beguile me
The infliction will deepen
The pain will revere
The broken soul will heal
The spirit will soar
The body will break
The soul will remain pure
The purposeful eyes
The driven mind
All will hold strong
In these trying times

I can understand the thrill
All the heady ways
The barbed satin beauty
And her fiery gaze
She makes you swoon
She sends you in a daze
You would croon for her
You live in her craze
All you want is her
All you need is her
The barbed satin beauty
And her fiery gaze...

14 Nov 2008

Dreams and the Family.

I woke up in cold sweat. I don't usually remember my dreams and most of them are pleasant. Thus, dreaming in explicit detail about losing a family member didn't leave me with any happy thought. It though; did leave me with a lot of doubt and many unanswered questions. 

I had just witnessed my mother's death as a third person. 

It left me shaken and visibly disturbed. Viewing the entire scene from the third person's point of view let me examine myself at the point of crisis. But more than that, it left me with a bunch of unanswered questions. I didn't know my ma's favourite colour. I didn't know her favourite dish. I didn't know the one thing that she loved the most in the world. The problematic part was, even after waking up; I didn't have answers to these questions.

It made me realise that even though my family is so close knit, I had so many unanswered questions. Living the fast life, always on the run; I have forgotten how to enjoy life. Needless to say that I don't have answers to the questions yet but I know what I will be reduced to if my family breaks up. Touchwood; that it doesn't happen for a long time. It will eventually happen, I know that; but I hope it doesn't happen anytime soon.

The problem that we face today; is that we forget to prioritise. We forget that our family is just as important as our friends are. Ask me to name my friend's favourite colour, I will know. Quiz me about their food habits and I will tell you in a jiffy. I know their most loved/hated lists like the back of my hand. But I fail miserably when it comes to my family. And I pride myself on being real close to my family. There is little that I don't know or share with them. 

But I do know that I want to learn more. I want to know more about the people who were always there for me. The ones who kissed the tears away. The ones who slept with the lights on when I was scared. The ones who cradled me and read out stories on the nights I couldn't sleep. The ones who taught me some of life's greatest lessons. The ones who I more or less tend to take for granted. 

Look back. Retrospect. There must have been a thousand times when you fought with your parents to see that movie which they didn't want you to see. To go to the coffee shop with a bunch of friends. To go on the promised date with that cute guy/girl you had been eyeing for months. But did we for once see the pain we inflicted back at home? Invisible scars that refuse to heal? Silent tears of pain? Hours of worry...??? 

No we don't. We are way too selfish and self absorbed to bother with the people who give us the much required unconditional love. The ones who would do anything for us at the bat of an eyelid. The ones who will risk their lives to save us from getting scratched. 

Our unsung heroes. Our family members. Our life.

<3 

I owe you guys a million times over. For always being there. And even though I rarely let you know. I love you. More than I can express and more than anything else. Forever. For always.

29 Oct 2008

Tresses and changes! :)

So, you all have loved and admired; envied and hated, but none of you all could have missed the tresses on my head. 

*grins*

Now, I am really in a mood for something outrageous and was contemplating cutting my hair real short. I asked a couple of people and all were against the notion except for Isha..!!! :D So, I will throw it here for contention.

Do I cut my hair really short because I feel like it or do I just give it a trim and let it be...??? My hair reaches the middle of my back if you are wondering about the length and is more or less straight unless I have tied my wet hair into a bun where it ends up in nice waves!! :)

So, my dear blog mates; YOU DO HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!! ;)

PS: I still don't have time to write that long post, or visit your blogs. Do pardon me. Sowwie. 

PPS: I owe one to Nimit, the random walk that day made me very happy. Thanks sweetie. And I will always be your fan. Mwahhhh!!!!!


13 Oct 2008

Love, is it?




Shades of love are they now?
Yes, I think they are.
Very much indeed.
<3<3<3<3

1 Oct 2008

Unchecked emotions.

As you stare into the broken mirror, you know what is about to become of you. The shards reflect how broken you feel. The fine mirror dust shows how easily you can be blown away when that time comes! But most of all, the cut on your hand, reflected in the broken glass, drips hope and faith and respect away from you.

Emotions go haywire, unchecked.
Pain becomes a way of life.
The truth bleeds and drains everything that made sense.
The inner musings and stochastic thoughts turn into reality.
Trust dies.
The credence you placed within yourself, that you could find the strength to smile again; falters.
The chance of seeing yourself free from guilt, fades.
The possibility of things falling into place, just remain a possibility.


Anger swells within like a stormy gale itching to unleash it's fury, and instead cuts us open; a laceration refusing to heal.
The lips that smiled have cracked open, they cannot heal.
Death and decay come to the fore.
Hazy illusions of happy times torment us.
Reality becomes an addiction that we cannot get rid of.
The sea refuses to calm you.
The gentle breeze haunts us.
Life throws taunts at you.
Mayhem ensues.

The only thing that keeps you alive, is that single smile you saw. That is all you need. That is all you crave for.
You.

The blood on the mirror gently drips onto the floor. The tides continue.

19 Sep 2008

Mundane, such is my life! :D

Ankur complained in my last post that I don't blog much about my personal life as much as I blog about widely philosophical and abstract things. So this post is to make his day. :)

Lets see now. Where do I start????

Well, for one, I fell at the station again the other day. Apart from the bodily injuries, my pride was hurt. This is my second fall at Vashi station in just as many months. I was abashed, checked if anything was broken and quickly made my exit. No need to sit around and give people another reason to laugh at me. :D Not that they need any reason, but never the less!!

The next day, I ended up going to college in this half dead state because I had some of my friend's stuff and we had a submission going on. A bus journey after a not so subtle fall is dangerous, especially to the posterior which is already inflamed! Sigh. The treacherous bus ride being over, I was in college. Still in one piece. Thankfully!! My friend's submission was done in a jiffy but I still had stuff to complete. After I do all that, my professor took a look at me and told me to go home. Apparently my discomfort and pain was obvious. :| Thank god for small mercies....!!!!! :D

My normal state in college: bewildered and bored. Sometimes in a state of half mad wittiness which leads me to enact various things I see. Including eunuchs. (No offense.)
"Ae chikne, kya dekh raha hai?"
"Ae item, shaanpat, kya dekh raha hai??!"
"Ae Raju!"
"Abe apne aap ko hero samajhta hai, aine mein dekh chehra, bandar hai."

These are some of the days when I am in a mood to harass and irritate my classmates. These are the days when I cannot and will not be restrained!! :D What can I say? It is fun to be me! ;) Of course, it may cause half the guys in your college to forget you are a girl at the end of the day. I hold no responsibilities if such a thing happens with you!!! :D

Apart from that, I spend too much time on my phone; not talking, but listening to music. Too much music. I don't need my phone but I always need my music. :) I live for it and I swear by it! :D

Also, I am thankful to Joel. His phone saved my life in the 25 odd days that the Sony Ericsson guys harassed me to give me my phone back. Also, I am so glad you had come. It was an awesome 33 days and I still miss you loads. :(

These are pictures from the card I made for him, as a going away gift. If something doesn't make sense here, it is because the card was for Joel! :D :D :D


The Envelope



The first page
(And in my opinion the most shoddy one!)

Page 2

This page took a lot of time, because alphabets are hard to find!! :D

This is according to me, my favourite page!! :D It ultimately had all the letters in it!





The last two pages, meant for Joel's understanding only!!!! =P

Well, yes, now that you all know what all I do other can contemplate the abstract and the weird, I am off, I have an entire kitchen to ransack! See ya!!!


9 Sep 2008

The Coin: Happiness and its Progress.

It is 3:35 am. Life is moving, gentle paced and teasing. Like the bus you run after knowing you can get in and a millisecond before you do, the driver floors it. Like the last ray of the sun which you are determined to catch; before you wilt and die. Like the beauty of a dew drop; which won't survive the day. Like the melodious sound of a baby's laughter, before it grows up. Like that last sip of alcohol; which keeps your emotions in check. Life moves on. It is just us who have to choose to move on with it, or to wait and watch as it slips by.

TOSS:
  • Amazing friends
  • Caring boyfriend
  • Understanding parents
  • Picture perfect life
  • Oodles of smiles
  • Plethora of happiness
  • Perfect family
  • Nirvana
FLIP:
  • Friends turn the blind eye
  • Boyfriend shows the other side
  • Parents still understand
  • Patience is tested
  • Sister metes out the silent treatment
  • Bruises and cuts
  • Blood
  • Utopia

Even in death, there is peace, there is a shrouded covering of non-feign-able calm and peace. The aura and the beauty combined with the charm of silence, life goes on. Life never stops. Just our life does. Does it even matter that we live for others? Does it even matter that we care? I spent an entire vacation trying to figure out how to work things right with you, the moment I turned; you weren't there. I missed you. Yes, we have had issues. Lets do this right. Lets sort this out. Maybe, I will walk on the beach with you. Maybe; hand in hand.

PS: My letter to happiness. Unadulterated joy. I miss you. A lot. I wish you were here.

PPS: I am fine. And this is fiction. At least some of it. The friends, the family and the boyfriend are all doing well!! :)

27 Aug 2008

The Poem.

Words and rhymes just ebb and flow
The world is still fresh and mellow
The pain and the scars keep you alive
The hand that feeds you shrivels and dies
The thirst and heat do their trick
Reality hits like a tonne of bricks
For every drop of rain that pours
Menial issues become cored
The yellowed swing still swings by
The patched ground is very dry
Hope dies and steps falter
Destruction shows up the the altar
Both sides of a coin are unfair
The bullet grazes past your hair
The shining ray of light fades
The walnut tree shades your grave.

PS: It has been a while and I have missed this space. I haven't had time to be courteous or chivalrous when it came down to blog etiquette and I apologise.

PPS: I missed you guys!

14 Aug 2008

The last bit!

I'm going to keep this simple and sweet!

Joel is back; and how! Most of the things on the last "I want" list have been fulfilled. I'm not going to be coming back to this place for some time. Hope you guys keep well. Have a good weekend. Happy Independence day!

8 Aug 2008

The eternal confusion in the realms of life...

It is raining outside,
My hair won't settle
I need a vacation;
I'm sick of doing words,
I want a cuddle
A hug or two more
I want a reunion
I want to meet someone for the first time
I want to see the moon
I want to run free
The sea beckoning to me
I want Christian Bale
I want someone to croon for me
I need that last bit of cheesecake
I want mom to bake
My eyes demand rest
My mind wants more
Sleep is a tentative word
Kisses are sweet albeit rare
I have to go shopping
I have to live up to my own expectations
The last 3 inches refuse to budge
Italian things are what dreams are made of
Both the cars and the men!
I want to meet Boozo
Maybe spend time with nature
I want to rewrite the lyrics of Black
I want to blow bubbles
And clear the window pane
The last bits of moisture
Fizzy hazes of pain
I want to break down
And yet fly so high
I want cookies too
Maybe some samosas with it
Soul curry for the mind
And get wasted away all night long
I want a voice which will make people weep
And eyes that will captivate your soul
Holding on forever
It is still pouring outside..

I know that wishing won't get me anywhere
But it won't stop me from dreaming!
You there, I love you.
You are reading this because you care! :)

31 Jul 2008

Life, or freedom?


What if I were to fade away tomorrow?
Would you miss me?
Would you care that I was dead?
Or would you thank your lucky stars that I was finally gone?

Or would you just not care? Live life with the "don't know, don't care" regime?
Who do we live life for after all? Ourselves? Or the people we love?

Would you miss me? Or would you move on? Would you write a poem when I was gone? Would you cry and press you lips as they trembled? Would you hate yourself for not having said the things you wanted to? Or would you just not care? One soul less, how does it matter?

The smoke shall blow me away, my ashes running free in the ocean and the free air emancipating my soul..

The spirit shall run free, once again!

Listening to: What Sarah said by Death cab for cutie. I love the song! :)

30 Jul 2008

Tagger's Galore. P-2

TAG-1

Okay Cinderella tagged me to do this, then she bugged me to do this and now that I am finally bored of doing nothing, I do this! :D :D :D

8 things I am passionate about:

  1. Music
  2. Books
  3. Food
  4. Dogs
  5. Blogging
  6. Fighting for the remote! (Muhuhuhahahahaha! I'm EBIL!)
  7. Taking over the best seat in the house
  8. Mastering the art of doing nothing! ;)
8 things I want to do before I die

Well, I have blogged about something like this before! :D

  1. Bungee jump!
  2. Go to Fiji. :)
  3. Get a tattoo
  4. Buy myself that much coveted deserted island *wishes*
  5. Learn another language
  6. Write a letter and throw it out to the sea in a bottle! :D :D :D
  7. Parasail
  8. Learn to skateboard! :D
8 things I say often:

  1. Fuck you/ What the fuck?! (I use the word way too much! It's overrated in my vocabulary! :D)
  2. Die, NOW!
  3. If you insist.
  4. D-U-H!
  5. Thats outrageous.
  6. Ya, right
  7. Bitch
  8. I'm hungry! :D
8 books I have read recently:

  1. Marley and me by John Grogan
  2. The Exile by Allan Folsom
  3. The Avalanche Express By Colin Forbes
  4. Shall we tell the President by Jeffrey Archer
  5. Without fail by Lee Child
  6. The Bodyguard by Susan Brockmann
  7. The Day After Tomorrow by Allan Folsom
  8. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
8 songs I could listen to over and over again!

Probably 800; but this is a tough one!

  1. The Scientist by Coldplay
  2. Blurry by Puddle of Mudd
  3. Trouble by Coldplay
  4. Holiday by Greenday
  5. So here we are by Bloc Party
  6. Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin
  7. Rockstar by Nickleback
  8. Don't let go by Sarah McLachlan ft. Bryan Adams

TAG-2

Now, the mosaic tag, as tagged in by Stephen!

The rules are:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.


The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your user name?



Now, start guessing answers! :D

TAG -3

Tagged in this one by Akshay!

Pick up the nearest book.
Open page 123.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the next three sentences.

Book: The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

He would have none of what those big fellows tried to sell him. So it's up to us, boys. You know, something different, something unusual, but in good taste, and you know, different, Now do your best.

Hmmm.. There. Now everybody is all happy! :)
As far as tagging goes! I'm not! Anyone who is free, jobless, desperate for ideas to blog on, have become ennui, et al et al, are welcome to do this tag! I rest my case, this was a big one!

And Cinderella, I didn't have 6 embarassing stories, hence I didn't do that one! :D

26 Jul 2008

I want! P-2

  • More time to sleep. *yawns*
  • Smaller feet. *I want ballerinas my size too! Hmmph*
  • More insane rib tickling moments. :D :D :D
  • Dad to be able to have ice cream! [He has had diabetes for too long. I have never had ice cream with him. :'(]
  • A cure for fraandship-o-mania. :D
  • Joel back in India. *Please*
  • To learn to play the guitar and hopefully the drums. :P
  • More books. *wishes fervently*
  • My sister to have more time to enjoy life. [These kids are seriously overburdened! :(]
  • My bff to have a real hot and caring guy. She deserves it!
  • People to start valuing themselves more, there is so much about YOU that you overlook and underestimate.
  • To be able to hold on, for those moments which demand it!
  • To spread more cheer around. (:
  • One day with my grandmother. I miss you granny. (It has been 7 years that I last saw her.)
  • Abishek to have more time for the people he loves and cares for!
  • The world to be safer for women and children. (The rapes and pedophile cases scare the hell out of me.)
  • Mihir to get what he deserves. *You try too hard.*
  • To be able to gift that Honda Accord to Nimit, no strings attached! *you know the strings! :D*
  • Mom to always remain the warm, kind hearted, patient, loving, tolerant and the most fabulously chilled mom ever! *Touchwood*
  • Poetry to always remain one notch above where we can touch it.
  • Music to never fade.
  • Arvind to understand. I'm sorry, I had to do what I did.
  • Pathare to always love cookies. And books. *You mean a lot, rem'r that!*
  • The smile and genuineness to never fade. NEVER!
  • I want a dog, a cat will do too or a mouse. *I miss mousie! Hope you are happy! I love you.*
  • Robert Frost to finish his miles, soon. :)
  • Cigarettes to fade away.
  • Marriages to be made in heaven and last in the same way.
  • Self confidence to come back.
  • The moon to always make my night.
Phew.. Am done! :D

Listening to: Total eclipse of the heart by Air Supply and So here we are by Bloc Party. :)

21 Jul 2008

Insecurities and Questions!

Why does your figure determine your popularity? Why does it define your coolness quotient? Why is it that guys only fall for girls who are:
  1. Thin and fair
  2. Thin
  3. Fair
Why is it that someone who doesn't fall in this category, doesn't get that deserving second glance??

Why is it that our brains, our love for life, our exuberance, our infectious laughter and our personality all ignored? Why is it that, something as vain as beauty, is the one thing that matters??!!! That a 24 inch waist matters? And that Kareena Kapoor who looks likes a frail stick, more than a human being, get more attention than say, Konkona Sen; who is a brilliant actress?

My friend had a recent experience wherein a guy said that he would much rather go for hot bimbos than women who could think...

Like WTF!

Why does materialism rule our society? Why can't we look beyond the obvious? Why is it beauty over brains and not the other way around?

Think people think. And be honest! Would you give that not-so-fair and chubby girl a second look? Or would you spend up most of your time wishing you could do/be like, the pretty but vain girl?

And men, please; you are destined to be tall, dark and handsome! Not tall, fair and metro sexual/milky white/ pretty/ dainty, whatever. Get over the obsession to be fair! Get a tan! It turns on more women than they would admit!

For women:

Thin isn't in!

And if you are tanned, you are one mysterious, enigmatic, seductive and alluring chick and at the same time you are not one very white Kareena Kapoor!

Ahh, the joy it brings!

16 Jul 2008

A tribute.. To the good thing in life..

We have played with kittens and you have run from dogs.. We have walked in the rain and held hands.. You have shivered with cold and I have dried you up.. We have spent an evening watching a glorious sunset under the azure sky.. We have met umpteen times over lunch and just as many over dinner.. You sang to me.. I have had my first drink with you.. We have had beautiful and cherished moments.. We have had bitter fights.. We have had issues.. We have reconciled.. We have stood by each other.. We have sat at reclamation and at bandstand laughing at couples.. You promised to buy me a Mercedes E280.. I have argued for an S350.. I promised you an Audi TT.. We have made many promises.. We have kept most of them.. The broken ones are mostly mine.. We have watched ducks at mango garden.. We have exchanged gifts and we have exchanged cards.. Neither one of us brought the other anything for their birthday.. I still have your message promising me to take me out for that one birthday you didn't spend with me.. I have watched you overcome yourself with emotion.. We have stood together through the test of time and through the prying eyes.. We have given each other more hugs than I can remember.. I have cooked for you.. We have eaten so many frankies together.. We sat and watched the view from Kharghar hill.. We have watched the Parikrama concert together.. We have given each other looks that only the other can decipher.. We have teased each other mindlessly with friends of the opposite sex.. You have called me at 1 in the morning to make me listen to horrible and absolute horrendous jokes.. We have stuck by each other through trying times.. We have gone shopping together.. We have had ice cream together.. You have brought me chocolates just to cheer me up (after knowing that I don't really like them!).. You have kept me sane when I was close to losing my head.. You have always been dead sure about people and you have never gone wrong about anyone so far.. We have giggled at the Gujjus and their funny ways.. We have shared too many rides together.. We have admired courage and hated crime.. We have loved each other.. Completely..

I missed you..
You know who you are..

12 Jul 2008

The subtle art of being modest--NOT!

Statutory warning: The following post is overtly feminist!
Listening to: Blurry by Puddle of Mud

The world is a different ball game for girls! You have to deal with comments passed against you, against eve teasing, against harassment, against dowry, rape and what not? But there is a new infection passing around.

Fraandship-o-mania!

Initially it was restricted to Orkut. Any pretty girl, heck; any girl for that matter was plagued with friendship requests day and night. Some lewd and obscene but the rest mostly harmless! Now this epidemic has spread to Facebook as well! Despite their many filters, some people tend to bypass them all and send you a message! Some nice, some worth forgetting and some which leave you in splits! Look at what I got today!!


hi this is benjamin xavier from mumbai....i am a lawn tennis player and i have played for india in lawn tennis....i also have my amusement centre with video games,video theatre and online gaming...i make 1 lakh a day in my business more in weekends...i have a skoda and a santro...i am soon changing my skoda with a bmw my dream car....i am not saying all this to show off just to let you know that i am well settled and i have a good name in the society...and most of all i am a very nice,sweet.caring,loving,down to earth,humble,cool,classy,happening,funny,open and straight forward person...i happened to see you on facebook...and i felt if i can date you...since we dont know eachother lets become friends first and get to know eachother well and see if we can date eachother...if we happen to date eachother trust me i will keep you like a queen and take good care of you better than a mother who takes care of her baby...hope to hear from you soon...take care...if you are married or committed to someone else already please dont reply to this meassage of mine....thank you...



I should be so honored that he sent me a message.
I mean he is nice, sweet, caring, humble, blah blah oh, wait!

He is HAPPENING!! OMG!!!! I should fall at his feet and beg him to make me his! Like totally!

And he has a big car! He wants to shift to a bigger one though! And then he says he is not showing off!! Like totally man! You are so not showing off!!!I totally get it! NOT!!!!

He earns one lakh a day *whistles* and is well settled and has a good name in the society! I would have thought he was asking me to marry him! Not date him!! Hehe

If I happen to date him he will keep me like a queen and take good care of me! Much better than a mother who takes care of her baby... I am still in splits from this one!!!

And last but not the least! If I am are married or committed to someone else already,then I dont reply to this meassage of his! Well well well... Trust me, even if I am not married or committed, I will so NOT reply to this "meassage" of his! Hahahahaha!!!!!!

Life is so good man! So, fucking good!!! =D
These little things make life so interesting and amusing! But to his credit, he isn't lying. I did Google up for his name! He played tennis for India in the Under-16 team! Cheers to life!

11 Jul 2008

Lost Blogroll

Hey Guys!

I lost my entire blogroll because of Blogger. :(
If you don't see yourselves here, please send me a shout!
I'm really sorry about the goof up! Thanks!! :)

Oh! And I am going to keep this template as bland as I can so as to remind myself to stop being lazy and finish my new template! :P I'm just being super lazy to finish my bit of the coding! Yell out if you want to see a new template too! Maybe that will keep me from being as lazy as I am being right now!! =D

5 Jul 2008

Pieces and Graves



Two minutes of the most pure and unadulterated happiness followed by seven years of hurt,
For the fifteen minutes I spent laughing, fell countless tears on the dirt
For all the moments I floated above the ground, I spent several more in pain
The amazing six weeks we had, the rest all were spent in a haze
For the clarity and the hope you gave me, you went away with all my faith
The ten seconds of euphoria turned into an eternity of hate
The one day of longing we had; it broke me along the way
You made me the woman I am and yet you took it all away
For the tender moments you showed and all the darkness that it became
That one kiss we stole together was followed by many heart wrenching screams
The tingling heat you introduced me to, along with the eons of distress
For that one night of love we made, you sent me to my grave....

1 Jul 2008

Tagger's Galore

These are the rules:
1. Link the person(s) who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.


I was tagged by Mithun a.k.a. Scribbler's Inc. who likes the name Wily Banter more than Anindita!! :P

Now, there you go!! :) And, people, this is my very first tag!! :)

1. I got hooked onto cars as a kid. Vivek and I would cut out pictures of cars and stick them up in this scrapbook we had. Sometimes, I would go all the way to town just to look at big cars. Sometimes, even now; I still do!

2. I can't swim. But that doesn't stop me from admiring the beauty and the charm that a water body has! I can constantly gaze into the the sea and not get bored. For hours. Without conversation. :)

3. I don't have a maddening craze for chocolate. I would choose just about anything including pineapple, blueberry, raisins, cotton candy etc. over chocolate.

4. I can't blow balloons. My throat cannot bear the strain. I had temporarily lost my voice as a kid!

5. I can make Ambigrams! (Check up on Google if you don't know what that means!!) =D

6. I often fantasize buying my own island and retiring there with all the books and the music in the world. And friends! :)



There you go. My tag is complete. I'm sure now you guys know me a little better.

The people I'm tagging to complete this tag are Gunj, Isha, Anurag, Mihir, Akshay and Aayushi!!

Cheers. Feedbacks will be super appreciated!

25 Jun 2008

How much is too much?

Have you always put someone else before you?
Have you cared so much for them that it has freaked them out??
Have your actions scared them?
Have you been overbearing?
Have they ever told you something that you didn't understand and you spent the next week figuring out what could possibly be wrong?
Have they told you that the amount you care scares the living daylight out of them?
Have they told you that things will never work out between the two of you because they don't see you that way?


Have you ever been the "them" in the picture?

What do you do in situations like this? Talking to the person in question doesn't help because he doesn't acknowledge that he is doing something wrong. What do you do? Or what would you advise me to do?

20 Jun 2008

Of sins and sweetness.

There are three sinners here! Presenting to you,

Sinner 1: Isha Mantry























Sinner 2: Sailee Mandhare






















Sinner 3: Anindita Debnath



















Location:

Pictures: Candies, Pali Hill.
Movie: G7, Bandra.

Sweetness:
  • Having people checking out Isha's funky shoes. We thought of putting up a sign, 'You pay to watch!' We would have been richer by ten grand odd!
  • Watching men wearing pink shorts and exchanging looks.
  • Watching a movie together. Indiana Jones and the the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
  • Giggling through an entire movie. Isha and I giggled so much, Sailee has officially disowned us!! ;)
  • Being able to predict most of the scenes beforehand!
  • Laughing more when our predictions came true!
  • Laughing more, just because we can!! ;)
  • Stocking on a huge salad at the salad bar in Candies.
  • Chocolate mousse and Tiramisu.
  • Giggling in the bus.
  • Giggling everywhere actually. Happiness is contagious and is also the best medicine about!! :)




  • The awww moment of the day goes to..!!!


Sin:
  • Dragon chicken and chicken biryani! Not to mention the humongous salad we piled up!


  • Doing the crazy things! Have a look!













  • The sin winners are:


I haven't laughed so much for ages!! My stomach hurt from laughing so much!!! =D

Love you guys! I so needed this break!! Mwah!! <3

8 Jun 2008

Rainy days are back again!




It is that time of the year. June. The first week of June rather. It is supposed to occasionally drizzle, catch you off guard without your umbrella but nothing more and nothing less!!

BUT, now does that ever happen?

Ofcourse not!

The day you decide you want to wear your pretty white skirt, team it up with your favorite leather or grass chappals, voila; not only does it rain, it pours!! The winds howl like mad, there is an awesome dust storm before it all and then the sky just opens up and pours unto the end of thy patience! Always does. You get bored waiting, the mall doesn't have much to do, the ice cream in your hand is melting and you want to get home as quickly as you can!! However, since home is only five minutes away, you bargain with yourself saying that it is a waste to catch a rickshaw and you negotiate with yourself until you see the family pack dripping all the amazing ice cream into your bag.

So, hurriedly you run towards the rickshaw stand, getting wet in the rain and trying to convince the stubborn asses to drive you down to your place! But they staunchly refuse, laughing at your plight! One would have thought you were asking for a free lift! It is not like you refuse to pay!!!

So, by this time, you are soaking, because it never rains, it always pours! The ice cream is almost gone and so is your interest to wait for the rains to subside! You are dripping wet and the air conditioner in the mall isn't going to help your cause! You decide to battle the howling winds and you decide to battle the rains too!! You walk, you progressively get wetter, some ass drives by near you trying to catch a glimpse of your legs (skirt rem'r?!) and ends up splashing water from a puddle all over you!!

Aaarrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!


By this time, you have given up on yourself, everyone else had given up ages back; but then again, do you get the last laugh??

NO!!

Of course not!

Then, who does..???

Mother Nature as always!!

It stops raining, the skies clear out, the sun shines and you can see a rainbow!!

DIE RAIN DIE!!

We need you, but we don't like you! Not now, not ever! :(

I miss summer.

22 Mar 2008

You are THE most important thing in my life!!

Scene 1:

A cute girl exits her building. Just checked her beautiful makeup. 'It is ze perfect', she thinks. Walking. Still walking. Just then, the faintest little frown crosses her seemingly flawless forehead. The frown deepens. She checks her pockets. More like caresses them. Suddenly, all pretense undone, she starts digging into her tote with a voracious urgency. Diggity. Diggity. Pauses for a deep breath. More diggity.

'Aaarrrgggghhhh!!!!!'

'Not again. How could I left my phone at home again?'

With an almost ridiculous sigh, all the vanity forgotten, she runs back towards the building. How she manages that is lost upon me because I have never seen anyone and I repeat anyone running on heels that look like they are a quarter mile long!!

*She emerges out of the building 3 minutes later with a glorious look of achievement. All vanity back in place. A priceless gloating look on her face. She hustles for a cab. Triumph etched on her flawless face.*


Scene 2:

*BEST route no. 521. Happens whenever the lady in question boards the 8:20a.m. bus. I'm always thankful when she doesn't. I'm in the grumpiest of moods, the day I have to sit with her or vice versa.*

This starts within minutes or even seconds after the BEST pulls out from the depot. Ever since she got herself a new cell, she can't stop yakking. Most of the conversation is in Marathi. I try very hard NOT to eavesdrop but she is way too loud for me to block her out.

Most of the conversation is inane. Enough to make you wish either you could shut her up and sometimes when it gets too unbearable, that you could walk to college....!!!! Mindless things like what are you planning to wear, silly gossip, lunch woes, family problems and of course the damned beau trouble!!! It is an everyday story. I'm starting to get familiar with the names of family members and the cute guys in her office!!!

*Rolls Eyes.*

If you had a peon called Snehal, a male peon that is... Even you WOULD be grumpy!!!!!!

*I kid you not, it is the truth...!!!*

Scene 3:

*In the shrillest tones ever!*

Tring. TRING. T-R-I-N-G....!!!!!

*Oh! Pick up already, I silently curse. Why have a phone that you refuse to answer...???*

The man in question is still staring at the phone. TRING. Finally, an eternity later.

'Hull-o'
'Who is speaking?'
'Uh-huh. So who gave you my number?'
'He gave you my number? Are you sure?'

*Listens to the reply. An impatient look crosses his face.*

'And you are telling me that he gave you my number??'
'But why would he give you the number? I told him not to give my number. I don't like being interrupted.'

*This of course is happening in a BEST. Interruption my ass...!!!!*

'But again, Sir, you never told me why you called me.'
'Uh-huh. But why would he give my number?'

*This silly conversation carries on for another 6 whole minutes where the man in question doesn't give the caller a chance to explain why he has called!*

Suddenly.. An awestruck look crosses his face.

'WHAT? My wife is in labour..??!!!!!!'

*Amen.*

9 Mar 2008

Happy Happy... Happy :) :) :)

Yesterday:

Slept late.
Woke up later..!!
Good food.
Good health.
Long walk.
Library.
Books.
Lots of books.
Euphoria.
Calm.
Cheesy, predictable Historical Romance.
Feel good walk.
Nimit.
Peace.
Pani Puri.
Heart-to-heart talks.
More walking.
Dog.
Dogs.
Puppies even.
More feel good thingy. :)
Coding.
GRE words.
Languor.
Abishek.
Grin.
Hugs.
Questions.
Rapid fire rounds.
Laconic Answers.
BOOZO. *DROOLS*
Love <3.
Depp.
Friends. :)
Phone calls.
More talking.
Pun. (Has to be there!!)
Template choosing indecisiveness.
Chocolates.
Happy sister.
Tickling.
Cookies.
Cherished conversations.
Coffee.
Dinner.
Olive.
Contented sighs.
Warmth.
(Finally at 5 am) Sleep.

Content, happy, euphoric and peaceful sleep.
Thank you. :)
You know who you are. The conversation did the trick.
Love ya loads, miss ya loads. Good bless. <3 <3 <3

24 Feb 2008

Untitled

Whose to know if your soul will fade at all
The one you sold to fool the world
You lose your self-esteem along the way
Good god, you're coming up with reasons
Good god, you're dragging it out
Good god, it's the changing of the seasons
It feels so great, so follow me down and just...

Fake it by Seether.

18 Feb 2008

The short story of a miserable weekend.

I stared intently at my phone. I willed it to ring. I prayed a little even. Why won't you ring? Please ring. Please. I need you to ring. I need you to tell me that people still care. That they remember you when you don't call. That you are giving them a chance to be the caller for a change. Please ring. Dammit.

Another weekend come and gone as usual. No calls. A couple of insignificant smses. If I don't call you, do you forget about me? Am I so easy to erase out of your mind? Out of your life? I had recently gone to my friend's fest. Ya, I went there to enjoy. Instead I found a gloomy and depressed friend who refused to meet up because she was busy. After that she was in a surly mood. SIGH. Talk about manners. And to think I was invited there!!!

I haven't been calling you for a couple of days. And when I do, you have been cutting my calls or been telling me that you are busy and that you will return the call later. Did you? I really had something important to say. Do you know what it is? How would you know? You didn't bother to find out. I'm disposable. I'm always there when you need to talk come hell or high water. Could you say the same for yourself? Of course not. You would much rather fraternize with the enemy but not me. Easy, am I not? Easy to get rid of. Easy to chuck out of your head. The next time you need someone to cover up for you, maybe you should call your friend of fifteen years. But you won't, will you? She won't help you in situations like this. For all the shoddy work, I'm here, disposable and gullible as ever, because I care. Because I would do anything for friends; no strings attached. Use me and throw me way, break me up with your indifference, maybe the next time you turn about, all that will be left of me, is a hundred little broken and indifferent pieces.......

18 Jan 2008

Uncomprehendable stashes of randomly weird thoughts.

Compromise. Understanding. Being there. Taking one for granted. Love. Pain. Misery. Bitterness. Happiness. Anger. Envy. Jealousy. Friendship. Commitment. Loss. Hope. Touch. Visions. Separation. Laughter.


Why are we taken for granted? Why do we deserve more than we get? Why does everyone else promise to give us what we deserve? Why do most of them not live up to that promise? Why do they not understand? Why does hell always seem to be by our side? Why does everything happen at once? Why can't we control situations? Why are promises broken? Why is trust lost? Why are little things so disturbing? Why can't we block the disturbing things? Why is change so painful? Why do things change? Why can't we choose for a change? Why do we have to accept what comes our way? Why can't we formulate our own formula for happiness? Why are happiness and pain a part of the vicious circle? Why can't happiness occupy a greater part in that circle? Why does everything come at a cost? Why isn't life simple? Why are we expected to learn from our mistakes? Why can't we already have the learnings imbibed and hence not be prone to mistakes? Why do all good things come to an end???

9 Jan 2008

nine parts of Desire!! :D

More like nine parts of Disaster...!!!!!

I didn't bring the new year on a good note...

I wasn't well.. Cold, cough, fever, body ache and eye infection.

DAMAGE: I didn't give the Maths 5 paper today. More like, one KT free with the new year.. *sigh*
Depressing isn't it?? I mean I studied for it and then mid way through realised that it is just not gonna happen.. A big blow to my much anticipated KT free year.. *Sighs louder* yes, i have been depressed about this for the last couple of days.

New year came and went, all it left behind, etched behind a wall of tears was the loss of hope.

DAMAGE: Joel left today for UK. i won't see him for another 11 months odd. It pinches coz he was here for like 5 weeks and i hardly met him for 5 days. Ok, it isn't entirely my fault. He came one day before my exams started and left one day before they got over. The 12 day mini vacation i got in between was my best hope to catch up with him, but sadly; that didn't happen. He went to Kerala for 2 weeks.. AArrrggghhhhh!!!! Upon returning, he went to spend New Years at Goa. I can't crib much, because i came up with the plan for New Years at Goa. Sadly due to Mumbai university, I couldn't go. It is okie. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I shall have a better vacation, somewhere, i hope.. I miss him... :'(

He did give me a reindeer though!! *big wide grin* It has this permanent "OMG, WTF did u do?" expression!! :D :D :D
Now, everytime i miss him, I go give the reindeer a hug!! :D :D :D



Apart from that, I have started reading again, a lot of reading.. i'm trying to keep myself sane. There is a lot I can't put in here, because it is a public blog. I know you are reading, just drop in a prayer or two for me. To keep me sane. And happy.

I did realise one more thing,

Happiness comes with a price. It is not free. Shine on you crazy diamond. I still care. :)

2 Jan 2008

GRACIAS :)



The sizzling hottie...!!! ISHA MANTRY... :)


The aimless walks, the long conversations, the gentle and comforting hugs, the McD's, the misunderstandings, the tears, the bhel puri obsessions, the park, the shopping trips, Bandra, long typing for overdue projects, bitching, reminiscing school, cursing the traffic, having coffee, birthdays, birthday gifts, health concerns, planning for GOA, crying for not being able to make it there, finding ways to save cash, the Moon, sector 8, Mercs, rock music, aimless chatting, all the drama queen performances, books, music, Orkut, Facebook, more bitching, hope, comfort, NIFT, JD, crossing roads, being there, big smiles, laughter, eunuchs, more laughter, pun, boys, babies, Joel, chocolates, being broke, love, heartache, ol' friends, hugs, kisses, more shopping, gossip, hair cuts, funky clothes, trashy garments, the GaNG from college, puppies, dogs, thievery, pain, care, affection, quick lies, good food, treats, missing each other, BMW, a couple of AUDIs, being free, guitars, music, RAKHI SAWANT, jhalak, siblings, family, phone, <3<3<3 .....

You have always been there for me... I will stick by you.. whether you want me to or not!! :D






The boyfraand...!! MIHIR ROY :) :)

Endless talks, hugs, care,chicken, food, crappy chinese at Stomach, Good chinese at China Gate, bandstand, hugs, encouragement, assignments, Aveer, babies, chocolates, roses, classes, bunking classes, smiles, jokes, 'ya' jokes, Shloka, memorable times, bus rides, holding hands, 300, ice cream, letters, questions, answers, exes, walks, auto rides, vodka,more chicken, Goa, precision planning, Barbecue Nation, Candies, postcards, Marine Drive, PROMISES, laughter, bitching, phone conversations, chor, Luckys, caramel custard, cutiepie, throw in some more chicken, pun, hogging, being broke, lottery gains, arguments, patching up,HOPE, dependence, love, jai jawan, tava, bread talk, good food, Fashion House, understanding, being there, mistakes, apologies, forgiving mistakes, feeling good, mush, rosary, ManU clock, being away, phone, being complete, pain, tommy, cooks, one more rose... <3<3<3....it can't end...

We have been through a lot.. these tides will also pass... <3<3<3....




The super cute firang NRI!! aka JOEL ALENCHERY

chats, weird online timings, Geek, big smiles, gelled hair, pun, 14 and a 3/4th of an inch, "net friend", good food, car rides, McD's, chocolates *rolls eyes*, hours of international calls, all the hugs, typos, cars, gadgets, big bed, housemates, chicken, fraandship, ORKUT, music, IPOD TOUCH, Mochas, chocolate avalanche, laptops, the movie CARS, JD aka JOEL DARLING, mommy, more hugs, deadlines, Engineering, long distances, GOA, miss yous, laughter, foreign accents, beggars, "don't F***ing touch me", chocolate milkshake, money, dreams, Pounds, introvert, promised TREATS, yakking, listening to the yakking, candle light dessert at McD's, football, books, friends, good friends, really good friends, :) smileys, beer and ice cream, Orchids, Google, being there, tears, secrets, walks, crabs, CBD, chor, waste, kise log, kya bakwas, one horribly wrong day at the IIT, hot girls :P, gtalk, yahoo, forwards.... <3<3...
Keep smiling.... you'll get yourself a girlfraand one of these days!! :D And yes, i'll take my treat from you then!!! :D :D :D