Have you always put someone else before you?
Have you cared so much for them that it has freaked them out??
Have your actions scared them?
Have you been overbearing?
Have they ever told you something that you didn't understand and you spent the next week figuring out what could possibly be wrong?
Have they told you that the amount you care scares the living daylight out of them?
Have they told you that things will never work out between the two of you because they don't see you that way?
Have you ever been the "them" in the picture?
What do you do in situations like this? Talking to the person in question doesn't help because he doesn't acknowledge that he is doing something wrong. What do you do? Or what would you advise me to do?
36 comments:
Well clearly the rule to survive here is to never ever give that kind of importance to anyone....but apparently we are just humans....so it's bound to happen....I wish there was a way to un-do it... but we aren't computer programs (or may be we are...)......damn..I know I am not helping..
Well, I could have been the "you" in question if I had a sister who hated my over-protectiveness..I have been the "them" though, many a times...specially in the light of 7th point...I must tell you that this is a pretty unusual ( and hence pleasure-to-go-through) kind of a topic to find on blogger.
Blogrolled you :)
Cheers,
Mishra
@ Akshay
You misunderstood my question. You have answered it from the point of view of the "you" in the topic. I was asking for answers from the "them" point of view. Anyway, thanks a lot for trying. It means a lot! :)
@ Mishra
I can understand when the you in question is for your family. It is natural to get overprotective. But what happens when they are not your family? And you are just too nice to tell them something for the fear that you might hurt them!!
Thank you for blog rolling me. :)
Cheers. ^_^
Experienced the scene from both POV.
How can you say what the other one does is wrong?
What maybe wrong for you; may not be wrong for others!
And so you can never stop them from causing what they want.
Any case. Communication is the key. There is no other way out!
I'm wearing the same shoes as you are...(the shoes fit me tight :))..so anyways being in the same postion as you are i don't noe wat to advice... although I've realised one thing give as much as the person on the other side is giving you... I know none of this works... because it sounds all so mean and talking from the head...but believe that is how it shud be working... because the more you think the more you bother them... leave them alone and things will automatically fall into perspective
ps: blogrolling you too...:)
I wonder why you say that Talking to the Person In Question won't Help....You gotta tell the other person where they are going wrong...Fully Agree with Sutta .....Communication is the key !!!
@ sutta
Erm this guy has been told to let go by his friend's as well!! IS being obsessed a little creepy? SInce you say you has been there on both sides, have you ever turned obsessive? For over 2 years? >_<
@ Swayam
Hope so Swayam, hope so!! :) Cheers.
@ Anurag
I have told the fella too many times, it don't work unfortunately :'( HELP!!!!!
Communication doesn't help at all!!!!
most girls i know get freaked out by the amount of time i wanna spend with them. :/
I usually back off if the other person's feeling suffocated.
Hey Anindita,
You know..what I learnt from my experiences with life is,when you know someone is on the wrong direction (whether he/she accepts it or not)..we..as a 'good' friend,sister,brother etc should correct them.
Ofcourse what might be wrong to us,may nt be wrong with them at all!
But until and unless..those people never have a fall due to that mistake they never realize.
When in such situations,put yourself in both person's places.
It helps,trust me.
Whatever you do.
Don't be hasty!
Cheers!
I was obsessed till a long time as well, but then its NOW that I can say it was obsession. I never agreed on it when it was "actually" there. This is the exact case with that guy.
He won't understand, trust me. Its better to just tell him what exactly you/whoever feels and leave him to his state. Be as blunt as you can. Time is the only healer for him.
back off from watever you are trying to do!. no amount of effort from you will change em but only weaken you!
Sigh... I have been told that things will never work out between the two of us because some 'other ppl' don't want this. Imagine!?
I really don't know what to do.
So no suggestions.
Sorry sweeti.
*Hugs*
(:
@ Mihir
Lucky them that you back off!!
@ Aayushi
Trust me, I'm not being hasty! Thanks. :)
@ Sutta
Lets hope I can do that! Thanks man!! :)
@ Gunj
Thanks girl! Will take heed.
@ Adi
Wtf, are u serious? Go and like kick ass totally!!! No suggestions ain't that bad right now.
*hugs straight back at you*
Thanks. :)
Love is like sand. The tighter you try to hold it, the more it will slip away.
@ solitaire
I think you totally misunderstood the point of the topic! :|
Tried mailing you as a desperate attempt to make the post clear( my post).FAILED.your email does not work !! Here it does...
Hi,
I am the one behind the blogger nick Mishra.This mail of mine is a follow up to your review on the post Where the heart is-if you may recall.
I tried to address this problem of "lack of humanity" in most of us.Ofcourse I tried to do it at a personal-yet-larger level.I talked of the lack of all that makes us human.I mean animals too are known to make efforts for feeding themselves (without any lack of respect for animals either) but what differentiates us from them is the fact that we do not completely submerge ourselves in that food fetching process.For that reason there is a need to consider getting back to the basics.Infact,I personally am enjoying this state of being inhuman-entirely my personal perception though. and that is what frustrates me even more. This all thing that we call education now-a-days is more about getting jobs ( and hence a confirmation to the hypothesis that they are nothing but feeding routes ). rather than some other big human purpose. What big human purpose ? well it could be like enhancing the quality of lives of those around us- the ones who are incapable of doing that themselves...
I hope I gave you a little idea about the matter in concern.If not, kindly let me know. I will be more than happy to explain it 100 more times in an equal number of different ways- hoping that one of them will resonate with your line of thought.Your review is invaluable and hence all this effort to make things clear.Pleasure to have you around.
wen try hard it fails so only way is to get out of the relation becase as hard we try it gets out of the hand...
nvr xperienced either of d situations so whtevr am saying is purely from logic...i'd say tht u need to put d other person in place....but no way shud u go n confront him "hey, u r being overbearing"...no, tht definitely wud get matters complicated as u say tht comm is not helping...try doing it in subtle hints...start to disagree wid d person on trivial things even like winner of a game or how a movie is gng to be...make d person understannd tht u can hv an individual opinion thts diff from his...take it from thr
walk out of his life or throw him out of your life if he s not that important. it cud be she also...
to be a bit less aggressive, talk to a point, if beyond that it doesnt seem to work, then give up and move on....
btw nice blog.....wud be happy to add ya up ;) what say
@ hemant
It isn't just that easy! Thanks though. :)
@ comfortably numb
Thanks.
@ ashu
You are most welcome to add me up! :)
tagged ya!!:)
well we should look at it frm both prespectives..but then..its easier said than done
ayeeee...tag ta koro na baba!!:)
@ Vishvsambyal
It is always easier said than done! Always!
@ Scribbler's Inc.
Tag kore chi! :)
Things always do not work out the way you want them to. No matter how you try. No matter how you try and feel for the other person. You get possessive. Then it turns to being over possessive and then there comes a point where it is painful.
And yes never hold back what you wanna say. Its better said...pondering over it and then making a sack of shit out of it never helps.
Be blunt. Say it straight on the face. And if the person still does no understand then people call it head over heels in love I call it refined stupidity.
Cheers! And lemme know if Im wrong. Anyway I will visit this in some time and lets see if you have something to say
And yea thanks for the comments :)
@ Comfortably numb
I so agree with the refined stupidity part!! I have said that on his face...! I dunno whats on with him because I haven't really kept in touch. You aren't wrong. It is just that my situation is super complicated! :|
You're welcome. :)
I think i have seen both sides of the coin.
I have faced the hurt and humiliation for maybe over caring....and i have hurt people who i felt loved and cared for me a bit too much.
Maybe deep down inside we always want to care and want to be cared for...in an over protective and over caring way.
When someone loves us maybe we respond in a such a rash/unfeeling way because somewhere inside we are guilty of not being able to care for or love the other person as much in return..maybe we forget that thats its never expected. ;)
what i feel you should do...well take it a little bit slow...care for that person the same way you do now...but just dont b so expressive...people always understand...maybe a little late but they surely will. :)
cheers!!!
till then adios!
So does that mean you dont agree with the rest of it.:P
WEll and who says his/her situation isn't complicated? Take things as they come. Let him know. Give him time to digest!
Cheers!
@ Chirantan
I hope he does, sooner or later! :)
@ Comfortably numb
I never said the situation wasn't complicated from both ends. It is super complicated for him too.. I'm giving him time.. Loads of it.. Lesse what happens! Thank you for finding so much time to help me out. I appreciate it! :)
Oh its aight...No need for a thanks..Im way too jobless...and I feel nice when I try to help people.
Yea I guess time is what he needs. People just dont wanna move on. They sit. They hope. They dream. They pretend to close their eyes so that everything goes back to normal. I wish it was that simple. Its just like an ostrich which digs its head into the sand and thinks than no one is seeing her!
Cheers!
@ comfortably numb
Even I wish it was that simple! :)
**Have you cared so much for them that it has freaked them out??
**Have you been overbearing?
neva done this but have been at d receivin end a few times...oh n it is scary!!! n d best thing is talk it out...ofcourse its a lil difficult to explain without hurtin d other person ...i dread such situations!!!
@ Mayz
I have been talking! But I still dread! :(
i had someone care for me TOO much one time :s it's weird, cause it's too much too soon (well, at least that's what it was in my case) so, in trying to make me love him back, he ended up doing the exact opposite.
ps. thanks for visiting my blog! ^^
@ noelia~
Same thing is happening here too! Except that he knows I'm dating someone else! :(
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